This morning, around 10:00 or so, I decided that I wanted to make Bread Pudding; mostly because I had a bunch of stale bread to get rid of. Plus, I like Bread Pudding.
Now, I know some of you are thinking, Madame Bitters, why didn’t you crumble up the stale bread and feed it to the birds? Am I right? Is that what you were thinking?
Damn, I’m good!
I don’t like birds. I don’t want them in my yard or anywhere near my home.
There’s a story that explains my fear/hatred of birds, but I’d rather not go into it. Suffice to say, I had a bad experience. That’s all I’m gonna say on the matter.
Hmmm… seems I’ve wandered off topic. Sorry about that.
Anyway, I decided to make Bread Pudding at around 10:00 am. So I began gathering my ingredients, tearing up the bread, etc.
Then I go to my liquor cabinet for some bourbon (Bread Pudding needs bourbon for it’s sauce). I move the bottles around and, out of my numerous bottles of booze, there is not a drop of bourbon to be found.
So I get dressed and I leave the house for the nearest liquor store, which is far, far away. The town I live in is “dry” as are the other towns near me. To get the bourbon I need, I have to make a half hour drive.
This wouldn’t be a big deal under normal circumstances, but since it was a NASCAR weekend, the traffic was thick and the trip took about twice as long as it normally would have. Since I don’t care for NASCAR, I had forgotten about it.
I make it to the liquor/convience store around 11:30. I go in, go straight to the liquor aisle and pick up a small bottle of bourbon. Less than 5 minutes later, I’m ready to buy my booze and make the drive home.
I go up to the counter. The man looks at my bottle and says, “I can’t sell this to you.”
So I dig around in my purse for some ID and I show him my driver’s license.
“No, the state law prohibits me from selling alcohol before noon on Sundays.”
Shit! I’d forgotten about this law. I try to convince him by telling the clerk it’s for a recipe I’m making. It makes no difference
So I stand at the counter for the entire 15 minutes while he straightens the cigarettes and lotto ticket dispensers. At 12:01, I buy my bourbon and drive home.
Now this story, which I admit was a little long, is to illustrate an example of a stupid law. Granted, I do live in the Bible Belt (I’ll bet the NASCAR reference gave it away) so this law may not be viewed as stupid by certain people.
Here are some laws that serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever, except maybe to be included on lists like this one.
Here they are in the order in which I found them:
- It’s illegal to operate a motor vehicle while blindfolded– Alabama
- There is a $500 fine if you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, CA
- You may not pay for a 50-cent item with only pennies– Canada
- It’s illegal for a man to give his wife or girlfriend a box of candy if it weighs less than 50lbs– Idaho
- It’s illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, birds or any other domesticated animal kept as a pet– Illinois
- It’s illegal to pick ones nose on the Sabbath- Israel
- It’s illegal to transport and ice cream cone in your pocket– Kentucky
- It’s illegal to fish for whales on Sunday– Ohio
- Prostitution is legal, but it’s illegal to use the services of a prostitute–Sweden
- It’s illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish– Tennessee
- It’s unlawful for chickens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm– West Virginia
I really can’t bitch too much, though. While I may not be able to buy booze until noon on Sunday, at least I can fish for whales!