Tonight’s topic is one that’s had me concerned for quite some time.
Parents who give their children last names as first names.
Why do new parents do this to their children? Although some girls know the heartache of this worrying trend, it’s boys that are usually saddled with these unfortunate monikers.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s a few examples:
I could go on, but I don’t think it’s necessary.
Now, you, kind reader, maybe wondering what the big problem is. It’s true, I haven’t been blessed/cursed with children, so why should I care?
I don’t, but it DOES annoy me. And it’s generally a bad idea to annoy me, as I suffer from the type of rages where I blackout and lose hours (and sometimes days) of time.
Maybe some of you have even named your child (or God forbid, children) one, or even a combination of these types of names. Do you know what career you’ve set your child up for? Domestic servitude.
The same way that girls named Crystal, Amber, and Misty somehow wind up swinging from a stripper’s pole, boys named Benton and Ramsey end up being butlers to the wealthy and chauffering around Mrs. Daisy.
And if that’s what you as a parent want for your child, then send little Porter or Preston my way. I know I could use a good (and discreet) chauffer to drive me home after one of my blackouts.
Please submit your child’s resume in the comment box. I’ll be waiting 😀