The Starving Bulls**t Artist

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Weird Books on Weird Topics February 25, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — madamebitters @ 7:36 am

Good Evening!

When I started this blog up, oh say, about three and- a -half  weeks ago, one of my first posts was about depressing books  (Post #3: Feeling Happy? You Won’t if You Read These Books).

Keeping in the literary vein, I’ve decided to compile another list of books: Weird Books on Weird Topics.

These books aren’t depressing in the least. In fact, you should get a chuckle out of the titles.  These are all published books. I haven’t made up any of them.

I got these odd titles from a couple of different books: The Lexicon of Stupidityby Ross and Kathryn Petras and The World’s Worstby Les Krantz and Sue Sveum.

Some, ahem,  “educational” books you’ll never find in any classroom:

  • The History and Romance of Elastic Webbing Since the Dawn of Time
  • Highlights in the History of Concrete
  • Teach Yourself Alcoholism
  • Constipation and Our Civilization
  • A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry

Some not so average do-it-yourself books:

  • Let’s Make Some Undies!
  • Do it Yourself Brain Surgery and Other Home Skills
  • Grow Your Own Hair
  • Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power: How to Use the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts

Here’s a few interesting books on arts and entertainment:

  • A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating
  • The Art of Faking Exhibition Poultry
  • Be Bold With Bananas
  • Entertaining With Insects: The Original Guide to Insect Cookery

Here are a few helpful titles concerning health and general well being:

  • The Inheritance of Hairy Ear Rims
  • Mucus and Related Topics
  • Nasal Maintenance: Nursing Your Nose Through Troubled Times
  • The Water of Life–A Treatise on Urine Therapy

Some books about holes, tapeworms and Jewish grandmothers:

  • Big and Very Big Hole Drilling
  • Reusing Old Graves
  • New Guinea Tapeworms and Jewish Grandmothers

Here are couple of books about fun and  recreation of different sort:

  • Nuclear War Fun Book
  • Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice

Here are a few books concerning love and relationships:

  • Sex After Death
  • Where Do Babies Come From and How to Keep Them There
  • Wife Battering: A Systems Theory Approach

Well, that’s it. I hope you enjoyed reading these titles as much as I enjoyed writing them down.

Until next time!

~MB~

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9 Responses to “Weird Books on Weird Topics”

  1. eksith Says:

    Now look what you’ve done!
    Whenever I get to hear about a new book, I have to check it out. It’s almost obsessive. So there goes the rest of the week.

    Very interesting collection BTW…

    And you can add to that list:
    101 Things to Make With Human Skin.
    by Dr. Ronald Skinemwell.

    Pretty hard to get a copy these days, but well worth it if you can.

  2. jesusbudda Says:

    Funny.

    Best are:
    “The History and Romance of Elastic Webbing Since the Dawn of Time”

    and

    “Let’s Make Some Undies!”

    it’s the exclamation mark at the end that gets me. Almost makes me wanna make some undies myself!

  3. missfierce Says:

    E: It will likely take a lot longer than a week to find these titles. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

    If you do decide to find some of these books, send me some info on tapeworms and Jewish grandmothers. I’d like to know what the connection between the two are.

    JB: Its amazing what a strategically placed exclamation point can do, isn’t it?

    No one would ever want to make their own undies under normal circumstaces. But that exclamation point makes it sound like a fun filled adventure. Yes, the exclamation point is powerful thing.

    We could use it for unpleasant statements such as “Enlist in the War on Terror!” and “Clean out the catbox!” to make them seem better than they are.

    The opportunity for exclamation point misuse is a possibility. Exclamation points will have to be doled out carefully only to those who understand and respect their power. It will have to be much better enforced than gun control laws.

  4. NickFun Says:

    The Sex After Death book caught my eye. That’s a subject with profound philosophical implications for our eternal well-being. The rest are good too.

    • missfierce Says:

      NF: Hi, NIck! Thanks for dropping by. I like the Sex After Death title, too. I think the possibility of after-life nookie could well lead to spiritual enlightenment and potentialy the end of war and strife through out the world. What do you think?

      I also like the one about toddlers and the rubber industry. Something about picturing babies wearing hard-hats in a factory, while making rubber and rubber-based products makes me smile.

      Don’t be a stranger!

      JB: Read the above reply I made to Nick. “Sex after death!” could be one of the main teachings of your shoe cult- Be good in life, get some after death. Just a thought.

      E: I love old bookstores. There’s one about an hour away from where I live, so I don’t get out there too often. It’s 3 stories and has books on every conceivable topic imagineable. When I go out there, I spend the ENTIRE day and then I get a motel room for the night.

      Have you ever heard of a publication called Mental_Floss? If you like the type of stuff in Lexicon, you’ll probabaly like Mental_Floss too.It started out as a magazine, but now they’ve written books and they even have a game.

  5. jesusbudda Says:

    I can’t stay.
    I have a sudden urge to clean out the cat box. And I don’t even have a cat…

  6. eksith Says:

    Funny you mention tapeworms and Jewish grandmothers.

    There are a few places in New York where I tend to find obscure titles. Some buildings look like the city had completey forgotten they exist.

    On a side note, I found “The Lexicon of Stupidity” on Amazon for $8.95 😀

  7. eksith Says:

    Mental floss?
    Honestly I haven’t even heard of the name until you mentioned it. Looks definitely like something I’d want to check out.

    Thanks!

    p.s. And you fixed your URL! 😀


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