The Starving Bulls**t Artist

Look! Click on stuff! Laugh! Cry! Help Me!

Odd Things People Stick Up Their Asses March 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — madamebitters @ 7:36 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Did you know that bottles/jars are the most common foreign object pulled from people’s rectums?

Did you know that vibrators are second most common foreign object pulled from people’s rectums?

You didn’t? You may be wondering how I know that. Well, I’ll tell you: I recently bought a book called The IG Nobel Prizes.

The book is a tribute to an annual awards ceremony that celebrates and rewards obscure and arcane scientific discoveries.

Two of the recipients of the IG Nobel Prize for Literature were James R. Starling and  David B. Busch, two doctors who took it upon themselves to pore over decades of medical records, transcripts, ect to determine what people stick up their asses. They made a list that totaled 700 objects that were pulled from over 200 people’s asses.

The number in ( ) is how many of each case there was. Example: Light bulb(7) means there were 7 cases of a light bulb being pulled from a person’s ass

Here’s the list I pulled from IG Nobel Prizes by Marc Abrahams:

Glass or Ceramic

  • Bottle or Jar (31)
  • Bottle with attached rope (1)
  • Glass or cup (12)
  • Light Bulb (7)
  • Tube (6)

Food

  • Apple (1)
  • Banana (2)
  • Carrot (4)
  • Cucumber (3)
  • Onion (2)
  • Parsnip (1)
  • Plantain w/condom (1)
  • Potato (1)
  • Salami (1)
  • Turnip (1)
  • Zucchini (2)

Wooden

  • Ax handle (1)
  • Stick or broom handle (10)
  • Miscellaneous or unspecified (3)

Sexual Device

  • Vibrator (23)
  • Dildo (15)

Kitchen Devices

  • Dull Knife (1)
  • Ice pick (1)
  • Knife sharpener (1)
  • Mortar pestle (2)
  • Spatula- plastic (1)
  • Spoon (1)
  • Tin cup (1)

Miscellaneous Tools

  • Candle (1)
  • Flashlight (2)
  • Iron rod (1)
  • pen (2)
  • Rubber tube (1)
  • Screwdriver (1)
  • Toothbrush (1)
  • Wire spring (1)

Inflated Device

  • Balloon (1)
  • Balloon attached to cylinder (1)
  • Condom (1)

Ball

  • Baseball (2)
  • Tennis ball (1)

Miscellaneous Containers

  • Baby powder can (1)
  • Candle box (1)
  • Snuff box (1)

Miscellaneous

  • Bottle cap (1)
  • Cattle horn (3)
  • Frozen pig’s tail (1)
  • “Kangaroo Tumor” (1)
  • Plastic rod (1)
  • Stone (2)
  • Toothbrush holder (1)
  • Whip handle (2)

Collections (one case of each)

  • 2 glass tubes
  • 72 1/2 jeweler’s saw
  • Oil can w/potato stopper
  • Piece of wood, peanut
  • Umbrella handle and enema tubing
  • 2 glasses
  • Phosphorous match ends (discovered in homicide victim)
  • 402 stones
  • Toolbox (inside a convict; contained saws and other items for escape)
  • 2 Bars of soap
  • Beer glass and preserving pot
  • Lemon and a jar of cold cream
  • 2 Apples
  • Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and a magazine

Well, there you have it: a list of things people like to stick in their asses. Odd? Definitely! Painful? To normal people, probably.

I think we’re all wondering the same things:

Why would someone stick something like an ice pick inside themselves?

How could this seem like a good idea or a  pleasurable experience?

Who on Earth would be stupid enough to try it?

Unfortunately, the authors of this groundbreaking study didn’t address this question. Even if they did, I doubt the doctors would have gotten a 100% truthful answer. So we (and by ‘we’ I mean society) are left to wonder.

If you, the reader, enjoy sticking weird things in your ass, please leave a comment so I can ask you why.

 

10 Responses to “Odd Things People Stick Up Their Asses”

  1. jesusbudda Says:

    First off:
    Lovely looking new site, M’lady.

    I was gonna buy that boo the other week but I bought another one about something else.

    “Kangeroo tumor”?

    Kangeroo Tumor”???

    Whaaaa????????

    So, have you ever, ahem, pushed anything odd up your own, ahem, er, …you know…?

    Personally I’ve never seen the need. Or wanted to.
    It takes all sorts, I suppose.

  2. eksith Says:

    Woah! New layout…

    First off, JB, asking that question is even more rude than asking a lady her age. I mean, personal is personal.

    And I would concur, I’ve never had this particular inclination either.

    Second…
    I think the answer to the frequency of objects and types mentioned is that many of these are quite possibly cheaper than their electronic counterparts.

    And I would imagine there were quite a few Darwin Award nominees in that list of patients.

  3. missfierce Says:

    Thank you. I’m glad you both like the new layout. Well, E didn’t actually say that he liked it, but I’m gonna assume he does.

    And E is right about the inappropriateness of your question, JB:
    A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells.

    Now as to why these odd balls put weird stuff in their asses. I think it has to do with the prostate. When it’s stimulated, it’s supposed to result in an intense orgasm.

    Anyone remember that scene in the movie “Road Trip” where they go to a spermbank and contribute because they’re broke? The nurse stuck a couple of fingers up one of the characters ass because he couldn’t get it up otherwise.

    I asked a friend of my Mom’s if that’s true. Shes a nurse. After she gave me an odd look and we shared an uncomfortable silence she confirmed it was true.

    What I wonder about is the choice of certain objects, like apples and dull knives. Some of them are likely pranks gone awry; someone gets blind drunk, passes out and his buddies decide to play a little joke.

    Who hasn’t done something like draw on the first person who passes out at a party?

    A couple of the items I can kinda understand, like the convict with the tool box and maybe a sex toy or a whip handle, if they’re into kinky stuff. But a jar? I don’t get it.

    And I’m just as puzzled about the “kangaroo tumor” as you are JB. What the hell?

  4. jesusbudda Says:

    “And I’m just as puzzled about the “kangaroo tumor” as you are JB. What the hell?”

    – What the hell was going through that person’s mind?
    What possible reason could you have for doing such a thing?
    It is beyond my understanding. Or anybody else’s, I guess!

    Some people are just into that sort of thing.
    Good for them – but that’ll be a pass from Jesus Budda.

    “And E is right about the inappropriateness of your question, JB:
    A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells.”

    – Yeah. Sorry about that. I meant to ask if you’d slipped anything weird up your v…..
    I’ll stop right there!

    PS:Madame, the site really does look very nice.
    Very professional and sophisticated.
    Just thought i’d say it again because it really is cool.

    • “Madame, the site really does look very nice.
      Very professional and sophisticated.
      Just thought i’d say it again because it really is cool.”

      Thanks, JB! You’re a nice fellow, no matter what those other bastards say.

      Which is nothing, because everyone likes you. Prick.

      “Some people are just into that sort of thing.
      Good for them – but that’ll be a pass from Jesus Budda.”

      Good for you! Don’t hop on the “sticking-weird-things-in-your-ass bandwagon” just because your friends tell you it’s cool and that everyone else is doing it. Those people are sheep. You’re more of a barn cat, anyway.

      “Yeah. Sorry about that. I meant to ask if you’d slipped anything weird up your v…..
      I’ll stop right there!”

      Yes, that would be wise.

      PS: Thanks for being a regular reader of my blog. That’s the main reason I changed layouts. I thought it may bring more readers. BTW…how do you like my pics?

  5. eksith Says:

    “Just thought i’d say it again because it really is cool.”
    I like it too, but someone’s a suck up! :D

    “I think it has to do with the prostate. When it’s stimulated, it’s supposed to result in an intense orgasm.”
    You know… ever since I encountered your blog, I’ve learned something new with each and every post. Of course, I’m going to be scarred for life by reading this info, but I’m appreciative of the learning experience. Thanks!

    • Why, thank you, E! And thank you for being one of the 2 people who read this blog regularly.

      I thought about having a Readers Appreciation party, but then decided against it.

      Three people isn’t much of a party, is it?

      I expect a witty, perverse answer to that question. Don’t let me down!

      “You know… ever since I encountered your blog, I’ve learned something new with each and every post. Of course, I’m going to be scarred for life by reading this info, but I’m appreciative of the learning experience. Thanks!”

      You’re very welcome! I’m glad someone finds the weird shit I say useful. That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me online.

      I like to spread my knowledge around like a virus.

      “A virus cannot be destroyed. Neither can knowledge.”

      Feel free to use that quote. Be sure to attribute it to me, Madame Bitters. If not, back breaking litigation will follow. Take care :D

  6. jesusbudda Says:

    “PS: Thanks for being a regular reader of my blog. That’s the main reason I changed layouts. I thought it may bring more readers. BTW…how do you like my pics?”

    – I love the pics. Nice flow to the site now. I’m jealous of it, to be honest!

    Don’t try and ‘snare’ readers.
    They will come.
    I mean ‘come’ and visit – not…well, you know what i mean!

    You can’t please everyone and there are billions of blogs out there. Treat it as fun and take it from there.
    If you want visitors just link to porn and start flashing some flesh. If you want to keep a little bit of dignity and have a laugh with people who are into the same stuff as you are then keep going the way you are.

    You and Eksith are my two regulars!
    I’d rather both of you than a thousand mindless ‘browsers’.

    Big hug X

  7. rhiannan kendall Says:

    i wanna no how they put it up there?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.